the product

the pebble

Grey river stone. Stamped in a color you don't choose.

buy · $20 the colors

( it spins. that's not a feature. )

configure

Choose your nothing.

Assigned at random. See the odds.
$20 US shipping included
flat rate elsewhere

The AI Pebble is a rock. It does not do anything.

the colors

Every color. Its odds.

The stone is always grey. Only the stamp changes, and only chance decides which. Your color is assigned at random at the moment of stamping. The odds are fixed, published here, and audited by no one. They are, however, honored.

Odds apply per stone. 3-packs roll three times, so that is three chances at gold. No rerolls. No trades that we're aware of. Gold confers no benefits. Nothing confers any benefits. Your color is recorded on your Certificate of Uselessness.

questions

Everything you'd ask.

What does it do?

Nothing.

No, seriously. What does it do?

Nothing. It's printed on the box. It's kind of our whole thing.

Is it really AI?

It is really a rock with “ai pebble” stamped on it. Every AI company gets to define AI however they want. So do we.

Which model does it run?

It doesn't run. It sits.

Can I choose my color?

No. The color is assigned at random when your stone is stamped. The odds are fixed, published, and certified. Gold exists. Good luck.

Will it get better over time?

No. It shipped complete. Version 1.0, final.

Is my data safe?

The pebble has no sensors, no storage, and no opinion of you. Your data has never been this safe.

Does the keychain do anything?

It holds keys. It is the only feature we have ever shipped, and frankly we're still recovering.

Is this a scam?

No. A scam promises something and delivers less. We promise nothing and deliver a rock, on time, in a nice box.

Can I return it?

Yes. Thirty days from delivery, no reason needed. If it arrives damaged we refund instantly, though it rarely does, since it's a rock. Details on the extremely boring page.

Is it dishwasher safe?

Yes. But why.

$20US shipping included